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Peanut Otter's Disco/Exercitement
Transcript (Fandom Original Series logo) (theme plays) PEANUT OTTER'S DISCO Created by PB&Jotterisnumber1 Developed by KirbiMiroir PixelMiette Madi Shinx (The episode starts with Jelly reading a newspaper) Jelly: Gee whiz! Obesity rates growing faster than ever before? Now that's what I'd call problematic. Lemme keep reading. (Jelly continues reading) Jelly: Oh my! More people are engrossed in texting and gaming compared to 2011? Now that's something I don't see every day. (Jelly keeps reading) Jelly: Isn't it weird that much of today's newspaper's stories have something involving lack of physical activity and body shape? From the way I see it, heck no! I better start a program! (Jelly gets to work by going on a Commodore 64 and creating a sign-up sheet for Exercitement via a spreadsheet program. Next, she prints out the sheet. Then, she creates a poster for the said program and puts it on a wall at the dance floor. Afterward, she puts the sign-up sheet and a pen on a table and moves the table in front of the poster.) Jelly: My work here is done. Time to head to the dressing room and get changed and warmed up! (Jelly heads toward the dressing room. Meanwhile, Lusamine, Cleo, Minerva, and Lillie walk to where the table is) Lusamine: Exercitement? Cleo: Where exercise and joy meet? I have first dibs! (grabs the pen and writes her name, the date, and time) Minerva: My turn! (Cleo hands the pen to Minerva and she registers, too) Lillie: Can I have a go, please? (Minerva hands the pen to Lillie, who proceeds to sign up.) Lusamine: Don't forget me! (Lillie gives the pen to Lusamine, who then registers) (Meanwhile, Jelly, now dressed in a Jane Fonda-style exercise outfit, is doing sit-ups to Like a Virgin by Madonna, which is playing on a boombox) Jelly: 29.....30! Okay, now time for 40 curls! (Jelly starts doing 40 curls) Jelly: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... (Cut to the dance floor, Homer is signing up for Exercitement) Homer: Must, lose, weight, fast! (Eric Cartman slaps Homer) Eric Cartman: (sarcastically) Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Baldy, but I'd prefer if you could be like the gentleman you always are. Homer: But I wanna look hot, fatty! Cartman: Oh god, not this again. Why the h does everyone here at the disco call me fat?! Homer: (hands Cartman the sheet) Here you go. There's probably room for one more. (Cartman looks at the sheet, only to find out that the entire front and back of the sheet is completely full, thus leaving him with nowhere to register on the paper) Cartman: D it! No more room?! Oh please! I've got better things to do than just copy retarded kid furries' worst impersonations of fitness holes anyway. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to own MLG stoners on Halo 5! Homer: D'oh! Kids and their "melg" stuff... (Cut back to Jelly, who is doing stretches to Madonna's Material Girl. She suddenly hears knocks on the door) Jelly: I'll get it! (Jelly opens the door, revealing Peanut) Peanut: Jel, what are you doing, and what's with that new outfit? Jelly: I'm just warming up for a new fitness program called Exercitement! Peanut: Cool! Can I-- Jontron: (offscreen) BOY! GET OVER HERE! I KNOW WHY YOU CAN'T READ S FROM AFAR! Peanut: Gotta go, Jelly. Jon's calling me. Jelly: Okay! Bye! (closes the door and is about to resume exercising, but hears more knocks) Again? (Jelly opens the door, revealing Homer holding the sign up sheet) Homer: Here ya go, purpley bear! Jelly: Pardon me, but I'm an otter. Thanks for the offer! Homer: (gives Jelly the sheet) Heh heh. Bye bye! (shuts the door) (Jelly heads to the dance floor with the sheet) Jelly: To those who signed this sheet while I was warming up, please come here! (Lusamine, Cleo, Minerva, Lillie, Lana, Leni Loud, Lynn Loud, Homer Simpson, Jessica Rabbit, Lori Loud, Susie, Riff-Raff, Beach Bear, Rydia, Moose A. Moose, The Lecture Lady, Orla, and Orphie come to Jelly) Jelly: So you seem to have interest in this new program, right? (The ones who signed the sheet nod) Jelly: We will do this at the disco's fitness center. Cleo: You don't say. Jelly: I know. After all, an exercise program isn't complete without a fitness center backdrop. Now follow me! (Jelly and the group walk to the fitness center) Jelly: Ooh, and give credit to the Nostalgia Critic, who will be recording our workout program to put on VHS, despite the fact that industries don't make them anymore. (cut to the Nostalgia Critic setting up the film camera) Nostalgia Critic: Oh my god, WHO GOT THE LENS DIRTY?! (cleans off the lens) That's more like it. Jelly: Okay, take your places. (The Exercitement participants stand on circles of light) Jelly: And Mordecai, is the stereo working? Mordecai: (checking the stereo) Yes, dudette. Jelly: Good! Are you ready to shape up, ladies and gents? Exercitement participants: Yeah! Jelly: Before recording, I will tutor you on the dance aerobics and other exercises. We're not made to be spontaneous here. (the camera zooms out and we pan to Peanut in a room with Jontron) Jontron: Say hello to your optomerists, Mr. Lenson and Mrs. Cilliary. Peanut: Uh, hi... (chuckles a bit) Mr. Lenson: We have been receiving calls from your agent claiming that you had some vision issues lately. Mrs. Cilliary: And so, we will be giving you an eye test. Peanut: Sounds interesting to me. Mr. Lenson: Okay, sport. You can put your eyes onto this machine. (Peanut puts his eyes onto the eyepiece and sees a large letter E) Mrs. Cilliary: What is this letter? Peanut: E. Mr. Lenson: Good (switches it to two smaller letters N and O) Mrs. Cilliary: How about now? Peanut: N and O. Mr. Lenson: Nice. (switches it to three smaller letters R, E, and B) What are these? Peanut: R, E, and B. Mr. Lenson: Excellent. (switches it to four smaller letters M, U, N, and E) Try this. Peanut: M, U, N, and E. Mrs. Cilliary: Great work. Okay, now this'll be a bit harder now. (switches it to five smaller letters R, A, E, W, and Y) Peanut: Errr....B, M, F, V, and T? Mrs. Cilliary: (switches it to six smaller letters E, H, N, I, A, and L) Can you get this? Peanut: Um....B, H, M, 1, M, and L? Mrs. Cilliary: (switches it to seven smaller letters L, I, V, K, A, E, and R) How about now? Peanut: I can't even see! They all look like bugs! Mr. Lenson: Since you only read clearly up to the fourth line and started making lots of mistakes afterward before you gave up, it has come to the conclusion that you have myopia. Peanut: Myopia? Mr. Lenson: It's also known as near-sightedness. You have difficulty viewing objects from afar. (Peanut tries to focus on a portrait of an underwater environment on the wall in front of him, but he can't) Peanut: I don't even know what that portrait is supposed to be! Aw man, Mr. Lenson! I will never see things the right way! Mr. Lenson: Fret not, kiddo. Jon will take you to the optician just a couple blocks from your disco to get you glasses. Peanut: You mean I will wear them like my mom? Mrs. Cilliary: We don't know much about your parents, but if mom does, then yes. Peanut: I'm fine with that. Mr. Lenson: Good. Jontron: Come on, kid. We better get going. Mrs. Cilliary: Have a nice day, you two! Peanut and Jontron: (as they leave) Bye! (fade to the fitness center, everyone has finished practicing) Jelly: Whoo! Nice work, everyone! We're all prepared! Nostalgia Critic: Uh, Jelly, face me now. Jelly: Okay! Nostalgia Critic: Let's do it. Three, two, one, and action! (the Nostalgia Critic starts recording. We cut to a shot of Jelly) Jelly: Hi! I'm Jelly Jane Otter, and welcome to (the words "Exercitement" in a typical '80s font appear) EXERCITEMENT! In this program, we will perform exercises that will strengthen our muscles and burn calories! Now, let's get together and begin by warming up! Stretch your arms! (stretches her arms) (the Exercitement participants imitate Jelly) Jelly: Good! Now stretch your legs! (Jelly and the Exercitement participants sit in a stradle pose and stretch their legs. Then, they stand back up) Jelly: Nice job! Stretch your shoulders! (Jelly and the Exercitement participants stretch their shoulders) Jelly: Awesome! (Pixel comes in in an 80's workout uniform) Pixel: Hey hey hey hey! What's up party people!? Jelly: Oh, come on Pixel! You ruined it! Pixel: I'm just being me, Jellz! Anyway hello, fellow possible humans and aliens trying to take over the world! I'm Pixel McDank-Maizono, swimmer, memelord, child protective service worker, cringemaster, edgemaster, and much more occupations from that, I can assure you that! (Jelly stares at Pixel as if she is speaking Russian) Pixel: ...What? (Security guards force Pixel out by poking brooms into her chest) Pixel: OW! OW! OW! GET OFF ME! OW! Security Guard #1: Sorry, Miss McDank, you'll have to leave. Pixel: EXCUSE ME, THAT'S MRS. MCDANK-MAIZONO! I'M MARRIED HAPPILY, MIND YOU! Security Guard #2: Well that's good to know, but you still have to leave. Jelly: Alright, just ignore Pixel while she's dealing with some quote-on-quote friendly, random security guards. Let's start doing step touches to Take on Me by A-Ha! (Take On Me by A-Ha plays as Jelly and the group perform step touches) Jelly: That's it! Keep going! Put your optimism shades on and feel yourself smoothing evenly! (Everyone continues doing step touches) Jelly: Alright. Now, it's time to step out! (Everyone does step outs) Jelly: Nice! Can you feel your refreshed body yet? (Zoom out of the disco and pan to an eyewear store) (Fade to Peanut and Jontron with a optician) Scott "Speck" Tuckles: Okay... So, Peanut Paul Otter, your optometrists suggested that you needed glasses to treat your myopia, yes? Peanut: Yes, sir. Scott: Come with me and you can pick whichever one you like. Peanut: Sounds good to me! (Peanut browses for eyeglasses until he spots photochromic lenses with gray frames) Peanut: Woah! Those look neat! (tries them on) Flick, you're still not alone. Scott: Young man, these glasses turn into sunglasses when exposed to sunlight. Peanut: Amazing! Scott: I know. (Peanut goes to Jontron) Peanut: (takes the glasses off) Look! I got the perfect glasses! They can turn into shades! (puts them back on) Jontron: H yeah! Oh, and one more thing, optometrist. How much do they cost? Scott: That'll be $19.99. Jontron: That cliche price on every informercial? Oh well, f it. As the frozen delivery dude says, shut up and take my money! (Scott takes $19.99) Scott: Thanks for coming. Have a nice day! Peanut and Jontron: You too! (Peanut and Jontron exit the eyewear store. Peanut gets out a flashlight and shines it on his face, causing the glasses' lenses to turn dark) Peanut: Neat, huh? Jontron: More like bad ! (Pan to the disco and zoom in, Jelly and everyone else in Exercitement is doing the mambo to Kenny Loggins' "Footloose") Jelly: Mambo real good, people! (Everyone finishes doing the mambo) Jelly: That was good, everyone! Lecture Lady: Can we do the chicken dance? Jelly: Well... Everyone else: Yeah! Jelly: Fine. (The two chickens join everyone, and they all do the chicken dance.) (Miroir dashes into the room) Miroir: Uh... why is everyone listening to mambo music while doing the chicken dance? (Everyone stops) Jelly: Very good point. And since the music is made to play automatically, we're going to have to keep mambo-ing. Sorry, Lecture Lady. (Miroir takes a seat and watches as everyone does the mambo again as "Footloose" resumes playing) Jelly: Okay, just a couple more, and we'll jazz it up! Category:Random Attempts at Reviving the Good Random-ness in Random-ness Wiki Category:Disco time Category:Peanut Otter's Disco Category:Transcript